Things I did

• We wanted to make sure we spent time with our guests, but also not bog them down with planned activities, so we hosted an ice-cream social two nights before the wedding. We bought ice cream and toppings, bottled water and popped in a CD of Hawaiian music. Instant party.

• You don't have to pay everything for your guests. We paid for the wedding party to attend the rehearsal-dinner luau, but invited all of our guests. About 20 of them came and paid their way.

• We didn't rush off to our honeymoon. We spent an extra two days on Maui before leaving for Kauai because we wanted to spend time with the people who had flown in to see us get married.

• Book in advance. We just barely were able to book our desired string duo for the ceremony in January. If you're getting married in high season (June to October in most destinations), it's imperative to make your reservations in advance right down to your manicure and dress steaming.

• Listen to others. Just because you haven't personally met the DJ or sampled the food doesn't mean you shouldn't book that vendor. I got several recommendations from brides on TheKnot.com and they worked out well. And the cake? My husband wants to renew our vows just to get another one.

• Buy what you can in advance. It's likely cheaper, and you can put the money toward something more important. I was quoted $10 each to rent vases for my centerpieces, so I went to Ikea, bought five of them for $2 each, tossed in some candles and votive holders and saved myself a ton of money.

• Carry on your wedding dress. Northwest Airlines' flight attendants were wonderful about hanging it in a closet for me, and I didn't have to worry about it being lost in my checked luggage. And for the record, one of my guests did lose his luggage.

• Buy your own alcohol, if your venue allows it. It will save you a good chunk of change. Some catering companies provide a bulk amount of alcohol that you may not end up using. We planned our own bar menu and bought wine, beer and liquor at Costco.

Things I wish I'd done differently

• Minister. 'Nuf said.

• Confirmed everything when I arrived in Hawaii. Costco was unable to find the leis I had ordered several months in advance and it took them nearly an hour to locate them the morning of the wedding.

• Set an earlier RSVP deadline. We set a return date of two months before the wedding, but people still didn't send them back on time, or in some cases, at all. We didn't know we would not have a flower girl until about a month out.

• Not have worried about the wedding party being uneven. Two of the four groomsmen were unable to make it, so we had an uneven number. Two bridesmaids stood on the groom's side and it looked fine.

• Started the photos earlier. We lost an hour of photo time because of the minister debacle, so we didn't get some of the group shots I had wanted.

• Finished the do-it-yourself projects before we left Seattle. No one wants to make program fans when the ocean is mere feet away. And if your fiancé tells you he is going to finish tying favor tags after his bachelor party, don't believe him.

Miscellaneous

• Be your own wedding planner — you know what you want. At some venues, you only can use specific vendors, so if you have your heart set on a certain photographer or cake baker, make sure you find out the venue's guidelines in advance.

• Splurge on what's most important to you. Flowers? Food? Photos? This is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and if you want something, go for it. You don't want to regret having chicken when you really wanted fillet mignon.

• Don't forgo sending invitations to people because you don't think they will come. You'll be surprised at who will and will not end up making the trip.

• Register. Some feel that couples shouldn't do it if they're not having a traditional wedding, but some people will get you gifts, and someone may throw you a shower. Just do it. Otherwise, you're just asking for a Bigmouth Billy Bass wall hanging.

• Save your guests money by signing up for wedding programs through airlines such as American and Hawaiian. Your guests will get a discount on their airfare and you can get an upgrade if enough guests use the promo code. You also can get discounts by blocking a group of rooms at a certain hotel.

• Don't plan your guests' trip. While it is good to have a planned activity or two, they will want to explore on their own. One way to give them a heads-up on things to do is to make a Web site with a page describing various activities, or send a welcome letter/packet with information and brochures included.

• Make sure you take the time to enjoy yourself. This is the best day of your life!

— Jennifer Chancellor, Seattle Times desk editor