If you're the father of a newborn, you may be gung ho about your new role. Yet it's hard to know how to get involved from the start. Your baby has five basic needs, all of which will allow you the opportunity to fall in love with your child.

The first is to eat. While breastfeeding is mom's department, dad can bring the baby to mother and when nursing is finished, you can interact with the baby and then soothe her back to sleep.

So often, all of the tasks surrounding feeding are left to the mom. With dad involved, he not only allows mom to receive needed rest, but he's building an attachment with his newborn. In order for him to do so, mom must be willing to step back and let dad acquire the skills and confidence to tend to the baby. The child will then find contentment in dad's arms, as well as mom's.

The second is to burp. Burping your baby after she's fed allows her to release trapped air in her tummy. When not burped, the child becomes fussy and uncomfortable. It seems natural for mom to burp the baby after she's finished feeding the baby. Yet she can pass the baby to dad, and he can complete this part of the feeding process.

All dad needs to do is find a position that allows the baby's body weight to provide just enough pressure to release the trapped air that baby gulped while eating.

The third is to change a diaper. Regular diaper changing keeps baby comfortable and offers another opportunity to interact with your baby.

Talk using fathereze, which is a form of speech that comes naturally to parents. It involves over-exaggerated wording, opening your eyes widely and raising your eye brows.

This form of talking was once referred to as mothereze, but dads can also talk in this special way and in a few short weeks, baby will respond with smiles, coos and babbles.

The fourth basic need is to sleep. The chance to soothe your infant to sleep is nothing less than a precious moment. Both parents know what it takes to ease their infant to sleep. To avoid sleep deprivation, it's best for mom and dad to rest when baby sleeps.

The fifth need is to cry. Babies cry to communicate. Some cry more than others. Avoid passing your baby off to mommy at the first whimper. If the baby needs breastfeeding do so, but if the baby is crying from overstimulation, daddy can take the baby to a quiet spot and rock her. If baby is crying because he's tired, daddy can put him to bed.

When dad can manage his baby when fussy, baby receives the message that when I'm distressed I have two people to turn to — my mother and father. Your child will carry this message her entire life.

As your baby gets older she'll have the need to play, which most dads are really good at it. But when your child is an infant, the magical movements of your face and the inflections of your voice amuse and engage your baby, in which no toy can duplicate.

Two no-no's: Never toss your baby in the air for fun and never shake your baby out of frustration. (Both can damage the child's fragile brain.)

Much of this information is contained in a booklet, "A Guide for Expectant Fathers" provided by the Conscious Fathering Program. For a copy, contact Bernie Dorsey at bernie@consciousfathering.org.

Jan Faull, a specialist in child development and behavior, answers questions of general interest in her column. You can e-mail her at janfaull@aol.com or write to: Jan Faull, c/o Families, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111.