Most parents tell their kids that it's not good for their physical health or safety to imbibe before the legal age of 21. There's much parents can and should do to combat the chance that a teen will drink alcohol.
Know that the chances of kids drinking alcohol and using illegal drugs are reduced when parents act as good role models and by doing such things as simply asking, "Where are you going, will an adult be present, and when will you be home?" Despite parents' best efforts, many teens use alcohol — some occasionally, some frequently — during their high-school years. There are many reasons why.
Rebellion: "Since my parents say 'no' to underage drinking, to rebel against mom's and dad's values, to prove my independence, I'll imbibe."
Peer pressure: "All my friends do it, so if I don't, I'll stand out as a sissy, nerd or geek."
Proving adulthood. "I want to demonstrate that I'm grown up, and drinking alcohol is part of what it means to be adult."
That's where modeling from parents comes into play. When there's a celebration, many parents toast the occasion with alcohol. When it's time for fun, some parents pop a cool one. When stressed from work, a mom or dad might come in the house and say, "I really need a drink." When sad, angry or frustrated, a parent might reach for a drink to quiet those uncomfortable emotions.
Like it or not, modeling in parenting is a powerful teacher. Parents can model restraint with respect to alcohol. They can even explain, "I love to celebrate with a glass of champagne, but I only drink one glass, never more."
Such a message settles into the mind of any child and helps teach self-control. Remember, alcohol lowers inhibitions and judgment is easily impaired; despite your best efforts, a teenager may learn the hard way how to control alcohol intake.
If kids are raised in a home where alcohol is associated with celebrations, fun, lowering stress and evening out emotions, teens will likely connect it with similar situations.
For example, to celebrate a football victory, teenagers might do so with a few bottles of beer. In order to make a party fun, teens might uncork a bottle of wine.
If a teen is stressed with the rigors of applying for college, studying for an exam and preparing a speech, she might lower her stress level by sneaking a jigger of vodka. If a teen is sad from the breakup with a boyfriend, overwhelmed with the disappointment of not being accepted to her college of choice, frustrated with a teacher's demands, that adolescent might do as her mom or dad do and take a nip to ease the stress.
Parents may say, "I'm an adult, I have every right." While that is true, realize your kids are watching. They'll most likely use alcohol as you do and, unfortunately, at a much younger age.
Parents need to model ways to celebrate, have fun, manage stress and face emotions without alcohol. By doing so, you're taking one of the many important steps to reduce the chance of your teens engaging in underage drinking.
Jan Faull, a specialist in child development and behavior, answers questions of general interest in her column. You can e-mail her at janfaull@aol.com or write Jan Faull, c/o Families, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111.
