Q: My 20-month-old daughter now climbs out of her crib, and bedtime has become a struggle.
Since she turned 13 months old, I've simply put her into her crib and turned on her music, and she'd fall asleep for 11-12 hours. Now when I put her in her crib, she climbs out. When I put her back in, she laughs. I am going crazy because she does this multiple times until finally falling asleep. Any suggestions?
A: While this game is funny to her and irritating to you, it's also dangerous. Some children fall when climbing out of their cribs, and some such falls result in a broken ankle or leg.
Your task is to teach her to stay in her crib in order to fall asleep and be safe. Here are two options for you to explore.
Option 1: Once you put her in her crib for the night, stay outside her door. Leave the door cracked a bit so you can peek at her. The instant she starts to climb out, walk in and lay her back down.
Don't look her in the eye, as eye contact reinforces her negative behavior. As you lay her back down, say in a deep firm voice while shaking your head, "No climbing. It's time to lie down and go to sleep." Turn and walk out the door. Ignore any laughing.
Then continue to peek at her. The second she begins climbing again, walk in and repeat the response. Keep count of how many times she attempts to climb out of her crib. If it's 10 times the first night, it's likely to be eight times the second night. It could take three days to three weeks for her to give up climbing.
With consistency and determination, you'll win out. Keep in mind that you've got your daughter's fatigue working on your side. With your persistent boring response, she'll soon be drifting off to sleep with only one or two climbing attempts per night.
Option 2: The second option is to buy a toddler bed or single bed with a railing that will keep her from falling to the floor once she's asleep. If you take this option, realize that she'll have license to roam around her room or your house. Therefore, your task is to orient her to sleeping in the big bed.
The benefit here is that you eliminate the risk of her climbing out of her crib and falling to the floor.
To teach her to stay in her big bed, you'll need to sit beside her and pat her as she falls to sleep. After a few days of doing so, sit by her without patting her. Don't engage in conversation; just say over and over in five-minute intervals, "It's time to go to sleep." Next, move outside her door and repeat the "it's time to go to sleep" mantra. If she gets out of bed, you'll need to put her back in repeatedly until she's finally falls asleep.
Only you can decide which option will likely return your daughter to an easy sleep routine.
Just as 1-year-olds learn to walk, toddlers learn to climb. Therefore, it's important to provide a safe place for her to do so. You can purchase a little slide with a ladder for her to climb up and slide down, or take her to a park equipped with toddler-size climbing and sliding equipment. This proactive approach will deter her need to climb at bedtime. Regardless, you'll need to watch her every moment until she fully masters climbing.
Jan Faull, a specialist in child development, answers questions of general interest in her column. You can e-mail her at janfaull@aol.com or write to: Jan Faull, c/o Families, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111. More columns at www.seattletimes.com/columnists
