As your kindergartner begins school, it's important to make an unbiased assessment of her likelihood for school success.

There's a tendency among some parents to shove academics down children's throats. Parent's participation in their child's success at school involves a much broader approach.

As you observe your child, ask yourself:

Is my child able to play cooperatively with similar-age children? Does he offer ideas, and is he amenable to listening to others' thoughts and opinions? Has he had experience waiting his turn, standing in line and sitting in a circle while a teacher reads?

If not, rather than punish him or badger him about his inability to do any of these skills, play out scenarios imaginatively with toy figurines; incorporate these social skills into their actions. Also invite a child into your home weekly so your child can practice socializing. By doing so, he'll gradually master the social skills expected in kindergarten.

Does my child enjoy listening to stories? As you read to your child 20 minutes a day, notice if she follows the words on the page from left to right. Can she tell you what happened at the beginning, in the middle and at the end of the story?

Your job isn't to teach your child to read but instead to enjoy books. Trips to the library are all it takes. Ask the librarian for good children's literature.

Is my child somewhat independent when it comes to self-help skills? Can she dress herself, zip her coat, manage tasks in the bathroom, and put shoes on and off using Velcro? Does she take responsibility for putting toys away? After dinner does your child carry her plate from the table to the counter?

If you complete these tasks for your child, it's time to back off and expect your child to do them for herself. Completing such tasks not only makes it easier on the teacher but builds competency in children.

Does your child have a consistent bedtime and routine? If bedtime is haphazard, 8 o'clock one night and 10 another, establish a bedtime accompanied by a predictable routine: put on pajamas, brush teeth, use the toilet, read a story, then lights out. Adequate sleep is critical to school success. If 9 o'clock was your child's summer bedtime, you'll need to adjust it down.

Does your child enjoy counting games? If not, purchase a couple or create your own. If nothing else, when calculating the number of plates required for dinner guests, let your child do the counting. Rather than drilling your child about adding and subtracting, use math in everyday situations. This way she begins to understand math concepts and their real-life applications.

Does your child manage his emotions? Emotional outbursts hinder learning. Therefore it's important that children gradually learn to deal with the wide range of emotions they experience. If your child can't, when she's emotional, put a name to it. Say, that's frustration, anger, sadness or disappointment. Stay with your child; soon the emotion will disappear. When at school, he'll be able to talk himself through emotional situations all on his own.

If your child acts out his emotions negatively, stop him and say, "You can be angry at your friend, but I won't allow you to hit your friend."

Be sure to talk positively about kindergarten.

Also, when your child speaks, listen and affirm her ideas. Communicate by your words and actions that you value your child's mind and personality. If you value your child, he'll expect the same from others.

If you're so busy that you can't incorporate these simple school success suggestions into your daily life, it's time to ask why and make some adjustments.

If you'd like more ideas about school success, contact the Foundation for Early Learning at www.earlylearning.org.

Jan Faull, a specialist in child development and behavior, answers questions of general interest in her column. You can e-mail her at janfaull@aol.com or write to: Jan Faull, c/o Families, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111.

More columns at www.seattletimes.com/columnists