If you are a parent in this situation, don't fret too much about your children's finickiness or let it drive you to become a tyrant at the dinner table.
A parent's job is to present healthful foods, "and after that, our responsibility is over," says Susan Moores, a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "It is entirely the kids' responsibility as to what they will eat and how much they eat."
But experts say there are strategies that parents can use to help cope with fussy eaters.
Keep it healthy
Tips for keeping the finicky little eater in your family healthy:
• Schedule meals and snacks. Don't let kids graze all day.
• Offer three meals a day and two snacks, but don't force-feed kids.
• Serve vegetables and fruit at every meal.
• Eliminate mealtime distractions, including TV and phone.
• Be physically active with the children every day.
• Serve water or milk with meals. Limit sugary drinks.
• Serve healthful snacks: yogurt; fruit or vegetables and a healthy dip; low-fat dairy products; or a whole-wheat tortilla with a little melted cheese and salsa.
• Get the children involved in shopping and cooking.
• Make sure healthful food is accessible to kids. Put it in a little basket at the child's level. Prepare a plate with cut-up vegetables on it.
• Set a good example for your children by eating healthful foods.
• Look for comparable substitutes if a child doesn't like a food.
• A child may outgrow a distaste for a food, so reintroduce it periodically.
• Avoid fast-food dining, and don't eat or serve super-sized portions.
• Make healthful food on the weekends and freeze it for use during the week, when your family may be more pressed for time.
• Make sure that kids are eating breakfast and dinner at home as much as possible.
• Don't ban every taboo food, such as sweets, from the home. If you're too strict, children may binge on these foods when they do get access to them. Teach children the value of moderation. It's OK to have one cookie — but not the whole bag.
• If a child is such a picky eater that you think the child's health may be in jeopardy, seek the advice of a professional.
• Don't resort to multivitamins unless you ask the child's doctor first, and perhaps consult a dietitian.
Sources: Registered dietitians Wahida Karmally, Susan Moores and Michelle Schuppe; and Beth Passehl, Fit Kids program coordinator.
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"Sometimes, children may need to see a new food 10 to 15 times before they're willing to try it, and once they've tried it, they still may need to taste it another eight to 10 or more times before they develop a taste for it," says Beth Passehl, program coordinator for Fit Kids, an early intervention program for overweight children and their families in Atlanta.
Children like to use their senses. So on repeated tries, they may progress from looking at food to touching it, smelling it, rolling it around in their mouths and spitting it out, to eventually chewing it and swallowing it, Moores says.
It once was common for parents to refuse to let their children get up from the table unless they ate everything.
The clean-plate club has been disbanded, Moores says. "It kind of turns off the natural signal that kids have to stop eating when they are full," which can lead to overeating.
Forcing children to clean their plates also makes dining unpleasant and doesn't persuade children to try new foods. It often results in the child refusing to eat anything you want him to, Moores says.
Plus, taste may have to be acquired. "Their taste buds are fairly immature," Moores says.
Take a cue from the children about what they like. They may prefer tomatoes instead of carrots, or pears instead of apples.
But don't become a short-order cook by making separate dishes for the child, experts say.
And don't worry if your child refuses to eat anything but his favorite foods. "Unless they've got some health issues, children usually get the nutrients they need over a few days' time, Passehl says.
Food fixations are a natural part of growing up, Moores says. Eventually "they disappear. I don't know anybody now as an adult who will only eat macaroni and cheese or who will only eat tater tots, so you just kind of ride through the storm."
Parents who fear that picky eating has gone on too long or might be hurting their children's health should seek professional help.
Ideally, it's better to get vitamins and nutrients from food.
"If they're not getting the foods that they should be getting, a multivitamin might be a good idea ... after you pass it by a doctor or dietitian," Moores says. "But parents need to recognize that they could never get in a pill what foods provide."
