Flush toilet problems with the right valve

Q: I have a problem no one I've met has ever heard of — or heard, actually, except in my house. After I flush the toilet, as the water starts coming back in, a loud, painful-sounding groaning begins, sometimes short in duration and sometimes lasting until the tank is full.

It happens in both upstairs and downstairs toilets, and reverberates throughout the house.

But it doesn't happen every time a toilet is flushed.

Opinions as to the cause have ranged from air bubbles in the pipes to loose pipes that have come away from the wall to a ghost in the plumbing.

I have not yet sought a professional plumber, fearing the worst — that the plumbing will need to be replaced and the cost will be prohibitive.

A: Change the flush valves in your toilets. As they age they can squeal and create all kinds of strange vibrations and squealing noises.

Ahh, toilets. Toilets are so wonderful with all their inexpensive, individually wrapped replacement parts. What other appliance that you buy new for about a hundred bucks can you replace handles, gaskets, chains, valves, tubes, bolts, lids, tanks, flappers, seats, floats, caps and wax rings for pocket change in a few seconds?

A total rebuild is only a twenty spot. Heck, nowadays if the car is out of gas, dirty and needs tires, it's time to trade it in. Same goes for water heaters, DVD players, microwaves, computers and spouses. None of it worth fixing. Not so for toilets though.

Follow-up: Questioning reader changed his flush valve while I waxed philosophical, and solved his problem.

Reader: Regarding your response about a nonfunctioning bathroom-exhaust fan: Several years ago, in response to a similar complaint of noneffective fan operation, I dug into the ceiling-mounted kitchen exhaust fan (similar in all respects to a bathroom-exhaust fan) in my mother-in-law's condominium and found there was no duct-attachment collar on the normal-appearing ceiling-fan housing. And, obviously, no flapper and no duct attached.

Instead, upon reading the manufacturer's label applied to the fan, I discovered it was certified as a "Ductless Exhaust Fan."

As such, it appeared that the sole purpose of the unit was to churn air and make fan noises without actually removing any air from the structure.

A quick check of the "exhaust" fans in both bathrooms of the same condo revealed that both were ductless units identical to that in the kitchen.

In the case of my mother-in-law's condo, it shortly became part of her estate and was sold with the original, purposeless fans still installed.

I have no idea whether the new owners ever rediscovered their "problem."

Hay: Ductless fans, ventless fireplaces. What could be next?

Earlier this summer, a reader wrote to me in frustration. Their sewage-ejector pump would routinely plug with "white stuff" requiring a $300 visit by a pump truck every two to three years.

They religiously kept fats and oils out of the system, but still could not figure it out. The white stuff was routinely plugging the pump, walls and sides of the tank.

I had no idea, and asked for help from readers. Those who responded alleviated it immediately by switching from powdered to liquid laundry detergent.

Those with septic systems and gravity-fed sewers have not suffered the same problem, likely due to the specific action of this type of macerator pump.

Glad we could help!

Darrell Hay is a local home inspector and manages several rental properties. Call 206-464-8514 to record a question,