I felt guilty sitting down while he cooked and I couldn't really relax.
The size of the kitchen was hard to cope with. It was ridiculously and extravagantly huge, and everything was suspiciously unused. I didn't know how to work all of Caroline's hi-tech appliances such as the dishwasher, the microwave and the food processor.
Caroline clearly doesn't cook much, except to use the microwave. There was no 'real' food in the house. But the freezer was stuffed with ready meals and pizzas. I'd never feed it to my children because I think it's very unhealthy.
I don't think Rod fully agrees with the type of food Caroline buys either, which is why he cooks when he can.
The cupboards were full of snacks such as crisps and things, which the children helped themselves to whenever they liked.
I put a stop to this half-way through the week because they were not eating their meals and junk food isn't nutritious enough for growing bodies.
They complained, but, by the end of the week, they were eating almost all their dinner, which Rod seemed surprised and quite pleased about.
For a family with more money than us, they didn't have much idea of quality about what they ate.
The children liked the fact I let them eat in front of the television, although they got bored of TV quickly, even though they had Sky.
The television was just like the rest of the house, it had all the mod cons and yet no one seemed to use them much. It all seemed such a waste.
My boys have to be dragged from the TV, and I am so used to quiet reigning once it's on that having to entertain the children before and then during dinner was quite exhausting. It was sometimes hard to hear the TV over the chatter.
I know my twins watch a lot of TV but it's mainly sport, which is harmless. It's all these dreadful soaps, full of violence and sex, that I don't think children should watch.
The evenings were strangely work-free because Rod spends a lot of time with the children - for example, he always puts Dom to bed. I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm used to flopping into a chair at about 9pm exhausted. Rod suggested I had a bath or read a book while he put the children to bed. It was like being on holiday.
By day three I was itching to get in the kitchen. I hadn't cooked a meal yet as Rod had cooked once, and we'd had a take-away the other evening. So I battled my way in and made a roast dinner, which seemed to pleasantly surprise them all.
But after I moved on to curries and salads they were obviously unimpressed because, on the fourth night, Rod's stepfather turned up with a casserole.
The family as a whole are much more into the social side of life than mine, which might make the children difficult as they grow older.
I think Francesca might be quite a handful once she grows up and gets into boys and going out. She's so independent already, it could be a real battle of wills.
Also, I found the phone ringing the whole time for Caroline very stressful. I don't know how she works so hard with two children. I couldn't do it.
My family and home are much more important to me. I'd find it hard to divide my time like she does.
I wouldn't feel comfortable wasting the time and money on myself that Caroline obviously does.
The bathroom was an altar to self indulgence, with every imaginable cream, lotion and potion. Ges would go mad if I spent even a fraction of what Caroline spends on myself.
Admittedly, it would be nice to have a few more decent clothes, but I don't really mind the sacrifice. I'd rather spend our money on the twins. Clothes, after all, are just a luxury.
I find trying to keep up with the latest fashion at our age silly anyway, it's rather pathetic to be so vain.
To me life isn't just about what you look like on the outside. Yes, Caroline's house and car were very showy, yet their lifestyle habits were rather less impressive.
They drink, smoke, eat rubbish and don't tidy up. I also couldn't bear the endless bickering, arguing and noise that goes on in their house - it would drive me mad. Ges and I don't really argue, he's a very quiet person and I prefer that.
Ges says:
Caroline has military precision about timing and is very bossy. She made the house feel like a boot camp. All meals were carried out to a rigid time scale and it gave me indigestion.
While she made the boys' tea, she'd run the bath so they could get in straight afterwards. It was like she wanted to get them out of the way as early as possible so she could relax in a mud bath, or something, with a glass of wine.
I like a slower pace of life, with time to chat to the boys and watch TV with them.
I can't cook and I think Caroline didn't take kindly to having to do it each night. Not that she did cook that often. It was either a take-away, something in the microwave or, thank goodness, one of Jackie's homecooked meals from the freezer.
On one night she made enough pasta to feed the whole street. It was the act of someone who rarely cooks and I said so, which annoyed her.
She told me she always cooked at home, but I am not sure I believe her. But that's Caroline, she'll always argue even when she knows the other person is right. I think she just likes arguing.
Mealtimes were fairly sombre affairs. Caroline insisted we sat at the table and talked. Well, she talked and we just listened.
If the twins were under her control for long I'm sure they would become couch potatoes. She was pretty lax about letting the boys eat snacks and junk food and seemed to have no motivation to exercise.
She clearly isn't a natural homemaker. She complained or huffed a lot when she had to do chores and, frankly, when she did do things it was always a drama.
She did some ironing, but only after asking me to do it. I couldn't find the iron so she did it in the end, but, in defiance, left the whole lot out afterwards so we had to walk round it for the rest of the week.
She was also very annoyed that we didn't have a dishwasher and kept saying she couldn't believe I made Jackie wash up by hand.
I think secretly Caroline likes being the centre of attention. The boys had new Game Boys for Christmas and she was constantly trying to talk to them while they played. When they wouldn't stop I could see her getting annoyed and biting her lip.
TV was also a big issue. Jackie and I don't like the boys watching soaps because they are depressing and violent, but Caroline happily settled down to EastEnders and The Bill with them.
She would also polish off a few glasses of wine while in front of the TV. She started drinking at about 6pm most evenings. Jackie and I will have an occasional glass of wine but nothing like Caroline.
I found her endless pampering ludicrous. It's such high maintenance and such a waste of time.
Frankly, once you're married with children, the days of worrying what you look like all the time are over.
She reminded me of a spoilt little girl sometimes. She certainly doesn't look or act her age, which she'd no doubt take as a massive compliment. |
