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Is my daughter depressed?

 It sounds as though your daughter may be depressed. Anyone, adults or children, can feel sad from time to time. The difference with depression is that the symptoms occur most of the time.

These include looking unhappy, frequent bouts of crying, feeling anxious, bored or sad, irritability, difficulty sleeping, listlessness, poor confidence, becoming withdrawn, finding it difficult to concentrate which may lead to performing badly at school.

There may also be physical symptoms such as poor appetite or eating all the time, losing or gaining weight, headaches, stomach aches or diarrhoea for no obvious reason.

In children depression most often affects teenagers. If your daughter has been unhappy and withdrawn for a long time you do need to take this seriously. It is unlikely that the way she feels is just because of her age. Although teenagers may be more prone to mood swings they are happy and outgoing most of the time.

The absence of her father and possible changes in home circumstances may have precipitated her depression. However, as you say, dwelling on this can become destructive. The love and reassurance you are giving her do help. Persist with these even if you cannot immediately see any effect.

There are several additional things you can do - you may have tried some of these already. Continue talking to your daughter and asking how she is feeling - you need to be able to keep an eye on how whether she is getting better, worse or staying the same.

Talk to her teachers at school who may see a different side of her during the school day and assess if her school performance has changed. If she is depressed her school work may be suffering and this could make her more anxious.

As her depression seems to have been present for some time she does need professional help. You need to explain that this is the only way she will get better. It helps if you both discuss how she is feeling with her GP who will probably refer her to the child psychiatric team.

If your daughter has true or clinical depression she may feel an intense hopelessness and lack of self-worth which sometimes may make her want to harm herself. Seek urgent help if she shows any signs of hurting herself or starts refusing to go to school.

Treatment may involve psychotherapy and supporting your family as a whole. Medication is only rarely used at this age.

For further help contact The Royal College of Psychiatrists. They have free factsheets on child and adolescent mental health issues. You can contact them on 020 7235 2351 or visit their website on www.rcypsych.ac.uk

Young Minds, the children's mental health charity, offers advice and support on mental health problems affecting children and young people. You can call their Parents Helpline on 0800 018 2138 for advice or visit www.youngmings.org.uk

You can also read 'So Young, So Sad, So listen' by Philip Graham and Carol Hughes (£6.00). Contact Book Sales, The RCP, 17 Belgrave Square, London SW1X 8PG.

We recommend readers seek personal medical attention in appropriate circumstances.