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Why has our little angel turned into a little devil?

 Two years of age is the typical age when any child will start asserting their own will and becoming more independent.

We have all heard phrases such as 'the terrible twos' and 'toddler tantrums' - they are such a part of normal development that we would be surprised if a child didn't show some of this kind of behaviour at this age.

Your little girl is subconsciously pushing you to your limits to find out what her boundaries are. In return you need to react in such a way that she learns what those boundaries are.

Although it is a stressful time, if you handle her using some of the following general principles she will grow up feeling secure and will calm down over the next few months.

1. Have rules and be consistent - your daughter will become confused if she is allowed to do something one day and not the next. Agree with your partner and anyone else who looks after her what she is and is not allowed to do or have.

This includes a range of activities such as sitting in a highchair or at the table, climbing on furniture, going outside - either in a buggy, pushing her own buggy, wearing safety reins or holding your hand, having snacks between meals or when you are out shopping, putting on her clothes, playing with your telephone or handbag.

There is no fixed right or wrong apart from common sense about safety but you need to be giving your little girl the same message every time.

2. Cut down your demands on her - if you find you are continually saying 'don't do this', 'don't touch that', 'behave yourself', 'be quiet', stop and work out which commands really matter and which are just a reflex response.

Your daughter will switch off if she hears a stream of demands so limit them to times when it is important that she takes notice. At other times try distracting her attention or playing with her.

3. Follow through what you say - if you tell your little girl 'no' to something be prepared to intervene if needed to stop her doing whatever it is she shouldn't. Be prepared to put up with the screams - try to ignore them as far as possible, but don't give in and let her do what she wants or she will get the message that when you say 'no' you mean 'alright if you scream loudly enough'.

4. You can still be loving whilst being firm - you can say no in a kind but definite way and follow up with lots of cuddles and praise for being good if she stops screaming or does not pinch. Look out for opportunities when you can tell her she is being good and how pleased you are with her.

5. Make the most of your daughter's natural sense of humour - try to turn some of her behaviour into a game or joke her out of it for example by telling her she can scream as long as she likes but you won't hear her until she stops.

If you feel desperate despite all these measures or feel as if you want to hit her when she is naughty ask your health visitor for advice. She will have lots of experience in handling behaviour difficulties in children this age.

Failing this your GP can refer you to the local child therapy unit where you can see child psychologists who can give you support and advice in coping with her.

We recommend readers seek personal medical attention in appropriate circumstances.