If you live in an area which has no Relate centre, you may be offered telephone counselling sessions. These operate like conference calls when three or more people can all talk on the same line at once. This is also useful for couples that no longer live together but are working on their relationship.
What's involved?
During your counselling sessions, your therapist will help you understand your partner a little more. They will not take sides or judge either partner.
They are there to help you communicate better with each other - they may ask questions that help you see each other's point of view from a different perspective from the one you held before.
If your partner will not come with you to counselling, you can go on your own. Your counsellor will still be able to help you work through your relationship and may give you some ideas to discuss with your partner at home.
Most couple have approximately six hour-long sessions with a counsellor. Relate say this is commonly the length of time you both need to work out where your relationship is going.
This may mean that your relationship comes to an end, but if you are both happier single, this means that counselling will have helped both of you realise those feelings.
The sessions may also have helped strengthen your relationship so you can face your future together with a better understanding of each other's opinions.
You will have to pay for the counselling sessions, but how much you pay will depend on how much you can afford - if you are receiving benefits for example - and how many sessions you might need. Your counsellor will be able to advise you on how much you may need to pay, but sessions are around £30 on average.
Where can I go for help?
To find your nearest Relate counsellor, call the enquiries line on 0845 456 1310 or visit www.relate.org.uk and enter your postcode in the 'Find a Counsellor' box.
If your relationship has suddenly hit a crisis and you need immediate advice, you can call Relateline on 0845 130 40 10 from Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30pm.
To book telephone counselling sessions, contact Relate on 0845 130 4016. Sessions will cost £45, usually payable over the phone via debit or credit cards.
You can also send a question to Relate's online experts and they will send you a reply by email. It will cost £15 for each question so remember to have your credit card details to hand before you contact them. Use this service by visiting www.relate.org.uk and follow the links to Advice Online.
SEXUAL PROBLEMS
What is it?
Some couples may be experiencing other problems in their relationships than just a lack of communication. It can be hard for people to admit they are having difficulties, but there are trained counsellors available to help you deal with all manner of sexual problems, from impotence to lack of libido.
What treatment will I need?
If you think your sexual difficulties may be caused by a medical problem, it is important to see your GP to rule out any possibilities.
They may be able to prescribe medication like Viagra for you, or refer you to a psychosexual therapist available on the NHS. However, the waiting lists can be long for this type of service.
You can choose to contact Relate. In addition to relationship counselling, they are also the country's biggest provider of psychosexual therapy.
After contacting Relate, they will set up an initial assessment to determine what kind of counselling you will need. Single people can also ask for help with their sexual problems. The service is not restricted to couples only.
If you have suffered from sexual abuse, either as a child or in later life, your therapist will also help you deal with this issue.
What's involved?
Many people are embarrassed talking to a stranger about their most intimate problems, but all the trained counsellors are sensitive and honest. They are also aware of how difficult it will be for you so they will do their best to put you at ease.
During your hour long sessions, you will not be expected to perform any sexual acts in front of your counsellor or show him or her any part of your anatomy.
However, you may be given tasks to carry out at home with your partner. This may include being given a pair of dice, but instead of dots, there are words like 'kiss' or 'nibble' written on them. You throw the dice and then have to follow their instructions. Your counsellor will then talk to you about these tasks at the next session.
All the sessions will go at your own pace. If you are not comfortable talking about something, tell your counsellor so they can restructure the sessions. It is important that you feel completely comfortable and can trust your counsellor. If not, you can always ask to see a different counsellor. Everything you discuss with your counsellor is confidential.
Relate say their psychosexual therapy service has high success rates. In a recent survey, over 93 per cent of men and women who received their help said there was a significant improvement in their sexual relationship.
Where can I go for help?
If you want to contact Relate, call their general enquiries line on 0845 456 1310 or visit their website on www.relate.org.uk and follow the links for psychosexual therapy. Prices will vary according to your circumstances.
To find a sex therapist or relationship counsellor near you, contact the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy on 020 8543 2707 or visit their website on www.basrt.org.uk |
