Marital woes can hinder good parenting
Last Updated: 2006-11-24 13:00:47 -0400 (Reuters Health)
By Amy Norton
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Couples who find themselves in constant conflict may be unable to give their young children the emotional support they need, a new study suggests.
Among the consequences for children, researchers found, are anxiety, withdrawal and problems at school.
Many studies have shown that parental conflict can be psychologically damaging to children. But the new findings point more precisely to how the damage can occur -- and show that it's not only angry, hostile exchanges that harm families.
Indeed, the study found, parents who dealt with differences by giving each other the "silent treatment" or some other icy, if not openly hostile, attitude were more likely than other parents to become emotionally withdrawn from their young children.
This in turn affected their children's psychological well-being and adjustment at school, the study authors report in the journal Child Development.
"A lot of parents may feel that it's better to just not fight at all and may sweep problems under the rug," noted lead author Dr. Melissa Sturge-Apple of the University of Rochester in New York.
"However," she told Reuters Health, "this kind of withdrawal and disengagement may have negative repercussions for parenting and for children."
The findings are based on a three-year study of 212 families with a child who was 6 years old at the outset. At the start of the study, the researchers observed couples as they discussed a "problem" issue within their marriage. They rated the couples' interactions -- whether they were hostile or withdrawn, for example -- and asked them how closely the discussion reflected a typical one at home.
Parents were also observed while playing and interacting with their children, both at the start of the study and again one year later. Parents and teachers also completed questionnaires on the children's psychological well-being during the second and third year of the study.
Overall, the researchers found, mothers who were in a hostile or emotionally withdrawn relationship were less likely than other mothers to have warm, loving interactions with their children. The same was true of fathers who were in an emotionally withdrawn marriage.
Among the consequences for their children was trouble adjusting at school -- including problems getting along with their classmates and difficulty with school work.
Interestingly, Sturge-Apple noted, fathers' "emotional unavailability" seemed to have particularly broad effects on their children -- being related not only to poorer school adjustment, but also to higher anxiety levels and greater behavioral problems.
Why this may be the case is unclear, according to the researchers.
"I think one of the main take-home messages from the study is that different kinds of conflict can have distinct meanings for the family system and for children," Sturge-Apple said.
Parents, according to the researcher, should be aware that the various ways in which they argue -- not just in anger, but also in cold, withdrawn ways -- can have important effects on their children.
SOURCE: Child Development, November/December 2006.
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