If the abuser is a friend or family member, you may be tempted to try and solve the problem yourself. However, when parents try to stop sexual abuse themselves, they will almost always be unsuccessful. The hard but healthy way to deal with this problem is:

• Face the issue.
• Take charge of the situation.
• Confront the problem to avoid future abuse.
• Discuss the problem with your pediatrician who can provide support and counseling.
• Report abuse to your local child protection service agency and ask about crisis support help.

When abuse is reported, the case is investigated by the police or a social service aency that looks into reports of suspected child abuse. With the help of a doctor, the police or social services will decide whether sexual abuse took place. Sometimes the police will let social services handle the case. This may occur if the child shows no physical injury and the abuser is a family member. When a child is abused by a nonfamily member, the matter is usually handled by the police.

After sexual abuse is reported, what happens depends on the circumstances of the case. The degree of risk of more abuse to the boy or girl is of first concern to the authorities. The offender and/or the entire family may be required to attend a treatment program. The offender may even face criminal charges. If the child's safety is in question, authorities will take the offender out of the home. Usually a child can stay in the home as long as her family will take the necessary steps to protect her from further abuse, such as by asking the offender to leave the home while the problem is investigated. In any event, the child and family will need a lot of support from relatives and friends.

Stay alert to this problem and teach your children what sexual abuse is. Tell them they can and should say "no" or "stop" to adults who may threaten them sexually. Make sure they know that it's okay to tell you about any attempt to molest them--no matter who the offender may be. Let them know they can trust you and that you will not be angry with them if they tell you.

The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages you to take the following steps:

• Teach your child about the privacy of body parts.

• Listen when your child tries to tell you something, especially when it seems hard for her to talk about it.

• Give your child enough of your time and attention.

• Know who your child is spending time with. Be careful about allowing your child to spend time in out-of-the-way places with other adults or older children. Make visits to your child's caregiver without notice. Ask your child about his visits to the caregiver or with child sitters.

• Check to see if your child's school has an abuse prevention program for the teachers and children. If it doesn't, get one started.

• Talk to your child about sexual abuse. A good time to do this is when your child's school is sponsoring a sexual abuse program.

• Tell someone in authority if you suspect that your child or someone else's child is being abused.

Your child's teacher, school counselor, or pediatrician can help you teach your child to avoid sexual abuse. They know how this can be done without upsetting or scaring your child. For more information on child sexual abuse or other forms of abuse, write to the National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse, PO Box 2866, Chicago, IL 60690.

Your pediatrician understands the importance of communication between parents and their children. Your pediatrician also is trained to detect the signs of child sexual abuse. Ask your pediatrician for advice on how to protect your children.