Bailey (age 6) (who unfortunately died a few years ago) and Sugar (age 21)--Goffin's Cockatoos and best friends while in my home.

In love, in marriage, in adopting a pet--many of us hope for the best, commit with our open hearts and minds, resolve to do our best for the other...yet, sometimes our best is not enough and things change. These changes bring sadness, guilt, shame--or perhaps hard-heartedness to protect against all that. Sometimes, the best thing is to think what IS the best thing for this other person/pet, and allow the process to take place, facilitating it with responsible behavior and intelligent decision-making. Such is the case when a new home must be found for a pet.

No one likes to admit that they had to find a new home for their pet. It seems a failure in some way, and it is. And we don't like to fail. It's good that we don't like to fail; our conscience is a good thing and helps minimize the times we do mess up. But, mess up we do.

Sometimes, though, there isn't anyone to blame when a new home must be found. Sometimes there truly are things beyond our control. Finding a new home for a pet is a huge responsibility, one not to be taken lightly. One to be avoided at all costs, but if it must take place, then the pet, and the humans involved, will be better if it is done so carefully, compassionately, and with good communication all around. Honesty, too, on both the old home and new home. It's a situation predisposed to fudging; but so that we can hold our heads up high and have happiness at the end and the start of the pet-human relationship, we must do our best and be truthful.

Last year I had to find a new home for three parrots. It was heart-wrenching. These were three parrots whom I had fostered, two for a year and one for two years. They were in their twenties and thirties...they had already been through a lot in life. I loved them, but could not care for them due to having moved into a condo and asthma that has worsened as I've gotten older...and yet I would not just place them anywhere. I wanted them to find their forever home.

First I contacted the rescue group from where I had fostered and then adopted them. They were unable to help. I tried many parrot rescue groups and was put on a waiting list at Pheonix Landing in NC. Luckily, several months later, they found the perfect home for Jake and Tina, two Amazons who developed a bond while with me and who I resolved not to have split up. After all they had been through in life, they deserved to be happy together. I completed lengthy forms detailing all their preferences and what I knew of their past, and their travel cage and their huge floor to ceiling cage, toys, and food all went in my van and Mark and I drove them to the NC border where a Pheonix Landing volunteer took them into her care and transported them to a cardiologist and his wife in NC who adopted them and was giving them what I thought of as their "retirement home." I was told they would have a happy life on these folk's beautiful property. I pray it is so. I miss Jake's larger than life personality and Tina's devotion to him.

The other bird, Sugar, was a Goffin's cockatoo. These are wonderful birds, very affectionate, funny, and, as cockatoos go, relatively quiet. I put an ad in the newspaper to try to find Sugar a new owner. A nice young woman with experience in birds answered the ad and at a very low price took Sugar home. I felt good about the match, but, to my dismay, eight months later I received an email from a woman named Christina who wondered if the bird she had bought off Craig's list might be Sugar. Indeed, after sharing stories and photos, it was Sugar. She shared with me that Sugar had gone through two other owners after I re-homed her, "[the woman Christina purchased Sugar from] had other birds and said that Sugar did not like them and she did not have the time to dedicate to her that she felt she needed and that is where our journey began..."

She was happy to know a bit more about Sugar (I didn't have much to tell as she has spent 21 years with a man who had turned her into a parrot rescue group. Sugar did not have a band and had one deformed toe, so I had always wondered if she had been wild caught. sigh.).
"How often can one trace the history of a 25 year old bird," Sugar's new guardian wrote...

Sugar Babe, now happy in her new home. Photo by Christina Lenher, used with permission.

"But her personality drove me to find out more because she is so sweet. You can see in her eyes a history of kindness which made me to ask why would anyone not want to keep her. Every path could be the path home it just depends on which fork in the road that you take.

"The lady I got her from visited her a week after she was here and she had never saw her like she is, stepping up and snuggling in my neck and kisses, she said it was 'love at first sight' on both ends."

Christina continued on to tell me that loved Sugar and found her to be the perfect bird for her and was committed to keeping her forever. She shared with me a bit via email about how Sugar was doing in her home:

Ms. Sugar is very well she is stepping up on request and loves to walk (hop) around the house for about 30 min a night. I will perch her on my hand and walk real fast through the house and she stretches her wings and sticks out her neck like she is flying it is sooo funny. She has a HUGE window I set her play perch at that she looks as if she is in the tree tops. She is a very quiet bird being after her morning song and goodnight song and dance. She is out of her cage 90% of the time only in while I am gone (I work p/t). She always comes down for some love. She loves to be petted she nudges you with the top of her beak (like a dog would) to get her scratch. She loves to go on the back deck and drink coffee with me as she chats with the birds of the woods.

I was so impressed with Christina's love for Sugar, and so relieved that she was now in good hands, that I asked Christina if I could "interview" her for this blog. As I feel sharing a bit about the emotions and process of re-homing a parrot (a very serious thing, if you know anything about the importance of the social group and stability in the life of a parrot) would help others who might be facing a similar situation.

JPW: Have you had prior experience with parrots?

Christina: I had a Moluccan cockatoo years ago who was an experience, to say the least. [this species is very loud]. [I've had] smaller birds--conure, monk parrot, cockatiel.

JPW: Do you have other parrots? If so, what kinds?

Christina: I am a single bird home. I get to devote all my time with Sugar.

JPW: Why did you decide to get a Goffin's cockatoo and how did you find Sugar?

Christina: I was not looking for a Goffin's cockatoo necessarily I saw her ad on Craigslist and her little picture and something kept drawing back to that ad. I figured she would be WAY too much money so I kinda thought I better not. But again, another day, I went to the ad, and I contacted the owner and she had dropped the price in order to get her the attention that she needed. And 4 days later she was brought to my house.

JPW: Is there anything about Sugar that surprised you?

Christina: Her gentleness her extreme gentleness. Her eyes told a story that I could not for the life of me figure out. That why a bird like this would not have had a forever home.

JPW: Have there been any challenges with Sugar that you've had to deal with?

Christina: She came to me plucking some. I wanted to keep her busy, not to do that. She has not plucked and is FULL of fluffy new growth. Her diet has been hard; to get her not to eat only seed. She likes her seed. Other challenges have been finding the food she will eat. She does love peas.

JPW: Would you recommend this species to others?

Christina: Only after careful research. I have an exception [in Sugar]. I feel Sugar is quiet and never bites and is not that demanding. From previous experience, cockatoos are very time-consuming and, of course, all new pets get lots of attention at first; but this is a long-lived animal that needs [care] for their whole life, which is an important consideration. I think all pets with proper care and love thrive, but just like humans they all have different personalities, different needs, different quirks and some can even be special needs. If you have a child and they are born with "special needs" you just don't give them away or hide them in a corner, you have to work with them nurture them and love them no matter what. That is how I look at all animals. They are family.

Sugar continues to do well in her new home, and Christina recently took her to the vet for a check-up. And, Christinia has Sugar's photo in "Open Your Heart with Pets" to show her:

"Sugar has really blossomed this week every day we are outside and she has now started to ask to go outside by leaning towards the door and motion towards the door. We go and watch the kids play in the pond everyday for about an hour (on our property) and she just loves it. She is always eager to go off her cage or perch and is now reluctant to back on...She is close to full feather maybe within a month or so she looks awesome. Absolutely no plucking.

"I got your book with her in it ''. awesome book. Ms. Sugar babe sits by me on the couch when I read it (of course I read out loud to her). She is smart but I don't think she can read. LOL"

As we grow in our understanding of animals, we become more thoughtful, more consciencious of how we treat them, how we care for them, and our responsibility to them. We learn--each time we open our heart, we learn. I opened my heart to Sugar and cared for her for two years. I was so sad that I had to find a new home for her, but Christina opened her heart and continued with the care Sugar needed. Life, God, luck, something bridged the gap and came through for this sweet creature. Sometimes, the news is good. Sometimes things work out. I'm so glad that it worked out well for Jake, Tina, and Sugar.

This article ? 2008 by Janice Phelps Williams, Author of "Open Your Heart with Pets: Mastering Life through Love of Animals" (DreamTime Publishing, 2007). All rights reserved.