Well, I’m done now - you get Stuart Heritage back as of Monday.
Covering life, love, death and destruction - as well as not realising some people had died, even though we’d reported that they hadn’t - I’ve had a fun three-and-a-bit weeks at the helm of hecklerspray. I literally have no idea how Stu keeps up with it all, but hey ho - some things must just be down to voodoo trickery.
I’d like to thank you for all of your support, and highlight some of the most life-affirming of the comments I have received over the last near-three weeks, after the drop.
“I cannot even believe you get paid to write crap like this. Sure why not bust on the Christians, you certainly wouldn't think of slandering any other 'religious' group without suffering severe consequences. You are pathetic!”
“i cant imagine carrying that much negativity around with me all the time. you are just one big walking black whole.”
“ian, after reading this article i am at a loss of words for you. i image your parents are so proud of you right now.”
“Just a TAD too angry on the back-end, there, Hecklerspray.”
“This writer is an idiot.”
“Ian Dransfield, could you be any more of moron?”
“I think the writer meant 'irony' not 'ironing'. Perhaps this contributor should learn basic grammatical skills before condemning anyone for their ignorance.”
“But none of you seem concerned about the fact that Ian Dransfield is just not funny.”
“Ian Dransfield, you are a truly poor writer. I feel a little dumber for having read this nerdy drivel.”
“Ian, I will pray for you. You obviously don't get the concept of God but you will. By then it will be too late. It's a very small thing you do here on Earth. Nothing you say or write will ever matter.”
“'Internet' is not plural. There is no such thing as 'the internets.'”
Needless to say, I will strive to keep on going as I always have, forging new grounds and impressing every reader that ever looks at anything I’ve ever written, just as I clearly have with my brief hecklerspray run.
Thank you and goodnight. Oh, and this was me on Sky News, which came about after this article. Just to give you more ammunition against me.